I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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