Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
