i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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