we're blogging at a bar
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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