I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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