Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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