Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
