Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
