it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
