My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have aggressive nipples.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
