Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize