lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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