I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
