I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
