You're my little dorito
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you never un-have a 4some
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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