i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize