Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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