Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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