Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
