That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
