their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
