Duck Duck Cougar?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
