I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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