I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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