I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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