Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
