you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
