The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
