What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
