I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
