You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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