I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
