sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
