I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So vagazzling was a success
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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