But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
