Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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