I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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