im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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