Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
