But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
