No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
