gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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