I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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