she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
