I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
