I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
