So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize