I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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