Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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