Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
zippers are such a cool invention
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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