community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
