i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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