i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
