Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
