is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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