I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
